Kaci Bolls

So….January. I’m really never sure what to do with myself in January. It’s odd to me that though it’s supposed to be the month of fresh starts, new beginnings, and clean slates – that it often times ends up being sort of a month of a long….never ending….gray…..”Pause” button. What do I mean?
Well – take February. People are either falling in love with love and being swept away with oversized cards and singing Hallmark gorillas, or crashing off their New Year’s diets in the Walgreens aisles of red and pink heart-shaped crack. But you see with either end of the spectrum….ACTION
Oh…but March, you say. What is March? For the Irish or Irish tendencied March has a fanciful fest fit for frothy freaks. Those March flowers pop up….it’s either coming in or going out like a lamb or a lion. And the very word – “March”. Uh….hut 2 – 3 – 4……
April – April showers bring may flowers, And MTV spring breakers in from their week of sun and soul damage….or it gives them an easy excuse for a wet t-shirt contest.
May……May I bring warmer weather? May I help you celebrate with the cinco’d fiesta? May I linger here a bit until I bring you summer? May I have this dance? (skip the pole. MAYpole. geez.)
June: watermelon. junebugs. june cleaver. all good here.
July: fireworks. heat. lightening bugs
August: Back to school plaids are in the stores. Backpacks and lunchboxes are bought. Tans are compared. Naps are taken. Days are long. School is anticipated. What teacher did ya get?
September: apples and schoolbells and labor day and hint of fall to come.
October: ahhhhhh. my favorite. brisk pumpkin pie cinnamon apple leaf colored candles burning and coats of many colors and kids ready for candy.
November: The world celebrates my birth. Everyone is thankful for once at the same time. People are allowed to eat and it’s cool to bust your jeans button for an afternoon. Naps can legally be blamed on turkey and no one flinches. Siestas are needed for the month to come.
December – hustle bustle frosty and rudolph and traditions and packages and hurry hurry hurry hurry. To that one last night. The night where the world can agree on one thing. There is no arguing that there is a new year coming. No disagreement that at midnight out with the old and in with the new. All around the ball of blue and green we watch and count and wait and kiss and then……crash from 11 months of memories we’ve made and people we’ve welcomed and said good-bye too. We all sleep, and wake up to start fresh…which brings me back to ….January.
Maybe it’s because I lost my dad on a January 2nd. Maybe it’s because I watched Dick Clark too many times alone – a chronic teenage drama queen choosing solace and avoiding the chance of a kiss going wrong. Maybe I was once asked “what are you doing New Year’s Eve?” – and I fell hard for the line and now every new year I have a flash back. Maybe the gray? The Rain? It’s hard to forge ahead in a constant rain spatter. Maybe it just slows us down on purpose. Maybe January is just that……a pause…….
I adore the pause button on my dvd player. I adore the pause button on my ipod. Like a bookmark in a great novel. Like the 10 minute ‘adult swim’ our pool used to have to make us rest at 10 til every hour. Maybe a pause is a good thing. Maybe there’s too much pressure to start new resolutions, when we havn’t even been able to soak up what happened the last half of our year to see what we NEED to ‘resolute’ ourselves to. Maybe a new year’s resolution for January is to pause – take a breather from all the 11 months that just flew by, and appreciate, laugh, cry, and get ready for the Walgreens Crack aisle for February Valentines.
January. A pause button. I like it.